happy new year!

I've had a busy few weeks (as I'm sure all of you have) but I hope to be back to blogging soon.  Until then, I hope you all have a very good new year!

Brussels Cathedral, Belgium

Happy New Year!

merry christmas (and card bloopers)

My friend and fellow blogger Kat wrote about sending Christmas cards on her blog this year.  I must say that I agree with her - it's such a nice feeling to share by sending and it's a joy to receive cards from family and friends around the world.  We don't have our pictures done professionally because part of the fun for us is the multi-hour photo shoot that inevitably ends with lots and lots of great bloopers.  We always try to include at least one silly photo-gone-wrong in the card, too. 

I thought I'd share a few of the bloopers on the blog this year.  They were not quite as hilarious as usual this time, especially considering that not only were the Bear and I involved but we had three furry babies to contend with including an old fat cat, a giant puppy and a little diva dog.  Fun times.  Needless to say, there were many trips back and forth to the tripod.

This is the front of the card.  We never really got a great photo of the whole clan so we decided to give our little guide dog star the front cover.


The quality of this photo isn't great, but you get the idea.

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This is the best shot we got of all of us together.  It made the back cover.  Yeah.

I particularly like how the animals look thrilled here. Also, despite what the cat says,
I was not trying to strangle her for scratching me just before this was taken.  She's a liar.

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At first, we thought it would be cute if Laura was wearing a Santa hat.  So the Bear went to work applying it.  Laura was really into it, as you can see here:


It's not enough that I have to poop on command - now you have to do this?  REALLY? Not amused.

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The cat took this opportunity to try and destroy the camera with her deadly laser vision.  She was unsuccessful.  This did not please her.

One thing I can say for her, she really puts her whole body into it.

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We abandoned the hat idea after we got the cover shot above because, well, Santa hat-related morale was pretty low.


Jessie: "Phoenix, it's your turn.  Put the hat on.  Do it NOW."
Phoenix: "Mommy, the cat's bossing me around again!"
Laura: "I just don't know where it all went wrong.  First they're telling me what a good dog I am, then they make me wear this.  I just don't get it."

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This photo turned out okay...apart from someone having his eyes closed.  *AHEM*

And perhaps the incredibly stupid face I'm making.  But mostly the eyes closed thing.
At least the cat seems to be getting used the neck lock.

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Then I felt it was my turn to ruin the group photo.  I think I did a pretty good job.


Perhaps just a little too much sexy for a holiday card. 

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Since the Bear and I could never quite balance goofy with serious holiday card photography, we decided that maybe we'd try our hand at solo shots.  We decided to go for "jolly" and "gleeful holiday spirit."  MISTAKE.

"...AND I want a new dolly and a bike and a new pony....where are you going, Santa?"

"HI."

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Then it just completely fell apart.

Laura: "Mommy, I have to pee."
Jessie: "Okay, little brown dog - I'm going to scratch her and when she drops you, go run for help.  On three..."
Phoenix: "Okay.  Wait...drops me?  SHE'S GONNA DROP ME??"

What's not to love about this shot?  The Bear's goofy grin, my obscured face,
Jessie's urgent need to escape, Laura's desperate need to lick Phoenix, Phoenix's disgust....
PERFECT PHOTO.
In fact, this is a spot on depiction of our family. 

Finally, the cat's agent called and said the union demanded that we release her, thus ending our photo shoot.

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We hope you have a Merry Christmas and happy holiday season - filled with many bloopers.

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merry christmas eve!

I must apologize for my sparse posting lately.  I've been getting ready for the arrival of a certain Bear and now he's here!  It's been a few weeks since we've seen each other and now that he's here Christmas can commence. 

I'll be back tomorrow to show you all the very cute out take photos from our cards this year, so stop by for a visit again this weekend.  There will be furry babies and Santa hats - well worth a click or two. 

I hope you're all managing to stay warm!

since i've been here

I've learned (and been reminded of) lots of things since I've been visiting my parents.  Here are some of those things.

My mother's dog snores.  Her name is Dragon and she snores like a grown man.  She sleeps in the bedroom next to the one I sleep in and she's woken me up at night.  Three times.  Poor little sausage.

She's the little red-haired piglet on the right.

Ice makers are evil. The ice maker at my parents' house is a little bitter that I didn't bring it a magnet.  Because it's attacked me about three times.  As soon as I pull my glass away from the door dispenser ice suddenly flies violently out and pelts me.  This happens no matter how long I stand there after the ice has finished falling.  I actually tried talking to it the last time.  Then I realized that I was trying to reason with a refridgerator.

Car accoustics are not as good as I thought.  It's been two years since I've been alone in a car.  I had forgotten how loud a car radio will go...but I remember now.  I also forgot just how bad radio can be.  I remember that now, too.  Still, I've sang to the top of my lungs every single minute of my car alone time, no matter what was playing.  Who knew that I would remember (or know, for that matter) all of the words to a Credence Clearwater Revival song?  Not me, my friends.  Not me.  And YET.

I really miss my little chocolate drop.  I started getting all soft and teary-eyed thinking of her so I did what any mother would do and I pulled out baby pictures to sob over.  Like these.

Here she is with her two sisters when she was three weeks old.

Three weeks old - I can hardly stand the cuteness of this photo.  DYING.

Eight weeks old - the day we brought her home.  She got busy exploring the garden right away.

There are more foods that I miss than I thought.  I think I've covered the important stuff, though.  I've had Diet Dr. Pepper, Mexican food, Japanese bubble tea, grits, biscuits and Cool Whip.  I feel somehow more complete.  You all KNOW how much I've missed Cool Whip.  Don't get me wrong, though, because being here makes me miss food from the UK.  I've already started having withdrawals from licorice all-sorts, Oxo cubes, pub food and real (read: British) Indian food.  I know that it's strange to miss Oxo cubes but you can't substitute a perfect stock cube, people.

US drivers are completely crazy.  You can get your knickers in a twirl because I said that but I have seen skilled drivers, and here they are not.  In the UK they may drive cars one inch from one another at 40 mph around a crowded round about but they can also park a car in a space exactly the size of said car.  The likes of this I have never seen stateside.  It's impressive.  Thus, on my first solo voyage on the highways of America in two years, I was literally frightened.  It's a scary out there.  Not that I didn't contribute to the madness, but still.


I'm continuing to remember and learn things everyday.  I'll keep you posted of any new developments.

christmas candy, motivational phrases and cars. sort of.

Every year my mother makes candy at Christmas.   She's a wonderful cook - and she can bake anything.  She's one of those people who could stir some water with a stick and it would be delicious.  Last year I decided to help.  We invited my friend Liz - also a really good cook.  WE WIN AS A TEAM.

Sorry.  It seems my brain is recycling old corporate motivational material.  Moving on.

One of the things we decided to make was pecan logs.  They have a marshmallow cream and confectioner's sugar center which is dipped in caramel and rolled in chopped pecans.

First, you melt some baked beans...err..I mean caramel.  It's caramel.  It is.

me stirring the baked bean caramel in 2009

Then you dip the frozen marshmallow/sugar slightly phallic looking center into the baked bean caramel.  Mouthwatering, isn't it?

dip the marshmallow pee-pee into the melted beans

We found that the assembly line approach worked best.  Henry Ford would have been proud.  We assembled a Model T immediately after this photo was taken.

first candy, next automotives

Then you have candy pee-pees rolled in nuts.  AWESOME.

these really are very, very delicious

Another thing we make is honeycomb cereal, pretzels and pecans mixed with white chocolate.  My mother really likes to make sure we have enough.  For the whole town. (Like seriously, she really gives little bags of this stuff to everyone in town.  It's a big hit.)

it takes four people to make a truck load of this stuff.
well, three.  i'm pretty sure my dad is eating it

When we finished spreading this out so it could cool, we realized that it was covering the table we were about to eat dinner on.  Ooops.

now when i make this, i like to add dried cranberries

All of that was last year.  This year, we're doing the same.  We've already started, in fact.  Liz and I made Oreo cookie truffle ball things dipped in chocolate.  (I'm thinking of a getting a job at a food magazine describing the food.  What do ya think?)

yes, they look a little like poo.  SO WHAT.

Lizzie made white chocolate and cranberry cookies.  I haven't really got anything crude to say about them.  I'll work harder next time. 

this is my beautiful friend, Liz

We also made a familiar favorite. 

doesn't look good, but IS

The candy/cooking making for this year is not yet over.  I'll take photos and be back here to mangle the directions, make jokes and completely turn you off confections forever.  YOU'RE WELCOME.

(I can't believe I called the pecan log middle a pee-pee.  And the Oreo truffles poo.  Must be a new low on the blog.

NAH.)

l is for luxembourg

Not that I've ever been to Luxembourg, mind you.  However, when I was in Belgium, the Netherlands and France on my vacation a few weeks ago, my mother thought I was in Luxembourg and Berlin.  No idea where she got that, but that's my mom for you.  I'm glad I didn't disappear because if the authorities had questioned my mother, they would have been looking in the wrong countries entirely.

How about some "L" things that I actually have seen for this Alphabe-Thurdsay?  Let's start with leaves.  I've got some sort of fascination with leaves.  I love them.  Sticking to the traveling theme I've got going on lately, I'll show you some that I saw on the ground in one of the countries I mentioned above (not sure which one). 

They were HUGE.  I thought I got a picture of my hand with them so you could see the size but either I was mistaken or my camera ate it.  Either way, you have to take my word for it.

Next, the Bear and I were trying to find our way around (probably) Brussels, so we got out the trusty old map.  I would have been happy just to know what time zone we were in but with this map we identified our latitude and longitude.  Didn't find where to meet the bus on there, though. 

We found it eventually, as you can see by the fact that we're not still lost.

Speaking of Belgium (and we sort of were), am I the only person who didn't know that Belgium is known for lace?  Well, apparently it is. 

Yep, you could get all the lace you could eat.  Lots and lots of lace.

Well, that's all I've got for L.  I'll try not to be so random for the letter M next week. 

Nah, just kidding.  I'll be as random as ever. 

welcome to belgium!

Why, thank you Belgian mobile telephone service.  And in English, too, not one
of the fourteen three official languages of your country.

Those of you who guessed the yummy treats in my last post were Belgian waffles were right.  The Bear and I went to Belgium a couple of weekends ago and indulged a few times in the tasty treats. I highly recommend them.  They were quite delicious.  Here is the one we actually ate:

Incidentally, we broke the flimsy plastic fork on the first bite and ended up eating with our hands
like the hungry and filthy animals we are.  I AM NOT ASHAMED.

Speaking of food in Belgium, I discovered this:

Mmmmm....gluhwein...

It may not look like much, but it was warm and it was wine - everything a weary traveler wants when in the arctic tundra Brussels (because it's friggin' cold in Belgium in November, people).  It's called Gluhwein.  Or Vin Chaud, depending on which language you prefer speaking at the moment. 

Sorry for the quality of the photo.  Apparently freezing to death and drinking
warm wine from a polystyrene cup = dodgy photo.

Or ouderweise.  Or warme wijn.  Yeah, all of these descriptions were at the same stand.  I love the message of togetherness - "People of the world, come and drink hot alcohol with us!  Unless you speak English."

That's okay, Belgium, I figured it out.  Especially as people were giving free samples. Well played.

I hate to belabor a point but, seriously, how many different languages are actually on this sign? Two? Three?  I just don't know anymore.  I've never been confused in four languages at once before.  Usually just the one will do me. 

I see some English and maybe some Dutch.  Or German.  And is that French?
Is that a chicken curry waffle?  How do you say "eeew" in Flemish?

 Oh, wait...there's the French.

Should I read anything into the fact that the only word in English is "bar"?

Speaking of words that don't translate:

Is there seriously no word in Dutch, French or German for "casino"? 
Or is that just another word that definitely needs to be signposted in English?

"All drunken gamblers this way.  For those of you who don't speak English, WEahaogha ehaoseagh."

Well, that's enough of me not being bilingual.  Let's get back to food:

If anyone needs me, I'll be over here hanging out with Mr. Patate next to the gluhwein hut.

*Update to Jenny D's comment: OH...I'll get to that Mannequin Pis sign LATER.  Count on it.  And I have photos to back me up.

guess where

We had these when we were on vacation.  Any guesses where we were?

No, not the fat farm because we didn't eat all of these.  Just one between the Bear and I.  Actually, we didn't eat any of the ones in this picture because they were the display and I'm pretty sure they had been sitting there for a while.  One of them was complaining about the Reagan administration and another was listening to his new 8-track tape.  Just saying - they were probably a bit stale.

I'm still very much without my laptop so I'm using an unfamiliar computer.  I can't say that I care for it.  I'll have mine back soon, though, and I'll be back to typing endless nonsense as usual.  Until then, you get cryptic photos of food.

the prodigal blogger

A little advice:  I do not recommend being without the Internet for two straight weeks, lest you start mumbling incoherently and bumping into things due to disorientation.  I've been there.  It's not pretty.

That's what you get on this blog - good, solid advice.

People of the Internet, blog readers, passers-by: I have had a mess of a few weeks.  Stretched out behind me are fourteen days of Internetless, barren wasteland.  I nearly died.  I couldn't even check email.

I was a shell of my former self.

Anyway, I'm back now. 

I know that I promised to explain last week but I'm still tired and now I have a headache.  But I have my beloved Internet back and with it email and blogs.  I just might recover.  I will be back to my usual random-posting and picture sharing self soon. 

Right now I need...you guessed it...a nap.

Good night.

DUDE

A lot has happened in the last five days, not the least of which is that I've been to five different countries.  A country a day.  I'm tired, Internet, very tired.

Just wanted to let you know that I've not fallen off the face of the Earth.  I'll be back.  Just give me some time to sleep.  And figure out what time zone I'm in.

I have tons to share with you about Thanksgiving (which was excellent) and my travels.  I can't wait to show you the photos! 

PS: Passed my piano exam, with merit, despite the fact that I completely butchered two of the three pieces I played.  I'm shocked and very happy about it.  Share in my joy.  Are you sharing?  Good.  This totally makes it okay that I'm a piano orphan.  Okay, no it doesn't but...I PASSED!  Yay!